The Power of Your Subconscious Mind to Acheive ANY Goal (www.MindMaster.TV)

Emmanuel - Imagine [The X Factor]

Steve Jobs Dead at 56: Apple Founder Resigns for Health Reasons, Fans Mo...

Can listen to music help us to work better?

There are many people who like to listen to music while they work and I am certainly one of them. I find it helps me focus more on the task at hand. Of course I can imagine that there are people who listen to music because it helps them NOT to focus on their job.



Whilst there may be many reasons for wishing to listen to music in the workplace, can it really improve your productivity?



We know that music can alter your mood. Films have been using musical scores for years to create the right mood for a scene. At times you hardly notice the music at all but you are very receptive to the mood being conveyed. So can we use music to put us in a "productive" mood?



Research seems to support such a claim. For example, a trial where 75 out of 256 workers at a large retail company were issued with personal stereos to wear at work for four weeks showed a 10% increase in productivity for the headphone wearers. Other similar research conducted by researchers at the University of Illinois found a 6.3% increase when compared with the no music control group.



So if we accept that music does increase productivity, does it matter what types of music we listen to? Does all music have the same effect or are certain types better in certain circumstances?



If your goal is to increase your concentration then music which has a constant, easy beat and light melodies are recommended. These are said to be good for those trying to study as they help you pace your reading to aid focus and memorising. Baroque music is reported as an excellent example, especially the works of Vivaldi, Bach and Handel.



Rock music can have a similar effect. According to a report in the journal Neuroscience of Behavior and Physiology, the Russian Academy of Sciences discovered that a person's ability to recognize visual images, including letters and numbers, is faster when either rock or classical music is playing in the background.



If you are aiming to be more productive through being more relaxed, then you may be interested to learn that research has shown that music with an upbeat rhythm can reduce stress hormone levels by as much as 41%.



Some of the most publicised studies into whether listening to music increases productivity have centred on what has been termed the "Mozart effect". The term got its name after a study showed that college students had performed better solving mathematical problems when listening to classical music. The effect of listening to Mozart does not appear to be limited to humans either. Apparently cows will produce more milk if Mozart is played.

http://mikeseddon.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/can-listening-to-music-help-us-work-better-68598.html

"The Joneses"

"The Joneses", a social commentary on our consumerist society. Perfect couple Steve and Kate Jones, and their gorgeous teen-aged children Jenn and Mick, are the envy of their posh, suburban neighborhood filled with McMansions and all the trappings of the upper middle class. Kate is the ultimate trend setter - beautiful, sexy, dressed head-to-toe in designer labels. Steve is the admired successful businessman who has it all: a gorgeous wife, big house and an endless supply of high-tech toys. Jenn and Mick rule their new school as they embody all that is hip and trendy - cool clothes, fast cars and the latest gadgets. But as the neighbors try to keep up with the Joneses, none are prepared for the truth about this all- too perfect family.

'The Joneses' Trailer HD

The girl that shut the world up - ECO 92

What is the Best Way to Recycle Waste?

There are many different ways to recycle waste, and they are largely dependent on the type of waste that needs to be recycled. Many basic forms of waste, such as glass bottles or aluminum cans, can be easily recycled, while things like electronics and batteries may require a bit more work to recycle. One can generally recycle waste that is highly toxic, as well, but it often costs a fee or requires driving to one of only a handful of facilities in a state or country.

It should be noted that there is usually a distinction made between a composting program, and a program to actually recycle waste. Although the general principle is roughly the same, composting involves organic materials being allowed or encouraged to break down into soil that can then be reused. Recycling, on the other hand, takes materials and breaks them into their constituent parts and purifies them somewhat so they can be reused again in further manufacture. Generally, however, there is some degradation in quality, so that, for example, white writing paper might be recycled and turned into a brown paper or cardboard.

Most cities in the United States offer recycling programs that make it relatively easy to recycle waste. Many municipalities offer curbside pickup, where residents can get a special bin for common household waste items that can be recycled. In order to recycle waste in these, all one needs do is clean the waste somewhat, and dispose of it as one would garbage, but in a special bin. In some areas, waste must be separated by material, for example into glass, metal, plastic, and paper. In many areas, however, waste may be mixed, and is sorted later, either manually or through mechanical means.

In areas where curbside pickup is not available, often waste management facilities offer recycling through their normal programs. Recycling waste at these locations is nearly always free, in contrast to the fee imposed by disposing of waste. Some states have facilities that offer money in return for recycling certain materials, generally bottles and cans, which is usually marked as a Redemption Value.
Industrial recycling most often takes place at special facilities. For example, waste concrete or building materials can often be recycled by bringing them to an industrial recycling location. In some cases a small charge may be charged for recycling these materials, but in other cases their disposal is subsidized by a local government.
Clothing and electronics that are still in functional condition can most easily be recycled by donating them to a free service that redisburses them. In cases where the electronics are no longer viable, they may be turned in through a special electronics recycling program. Many programs exist for specific devices, such as cell phones or computers, and some manufactures include a recycling program and kit with new products. One should be aware, however, that there are certain risks involved in recycling electronic components, such a hard drives or cell phones, that may contain personal information.
Other items, such as paint, fluorescent lights, and chemically-treated wood products, may be recycled only in special facilities. Depending on the state these facilities may charge a collection fee. Nonetheless, they may be recycled if properly handled, and recycling these toxic items can greatly reduce the environmental impact on the planet.

Can you improve your conversation skills? Certainly.

It might take a while to change the conversation habits that’s been ingrained throughout your life, but it is very possible.



To not make this article longer than necessary let’s just skip right to some common mistakes many of us have made in conversations. And a couple of solutions.



Not listening

Ernest Hemingway once said:



“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”



Don’t be like most people. Don’t just wait eagerly for your turn to talk. Put your own ego on hold. Learn to really listen to what people actually are saying.



When you start to really listen, you’ll pick up on loads of potential paths in the conversation. But avoid yes or no type of questions as they will not give you much information. If someone mentions that they went fishing with a couple of friends last weekend you can for instance ask:



Where did you go fishing?

What do you like most about fishing?

What did you do there besides fishing?

The person will delve deeper into the subject giving you more information to work with and more paths for you choose from.



If they say something like: “Oh, I don’t know” at first, don’t give up. Prod a little further. Ask again. They do know, they just have to think about a bit more. And as they start to open up the conversation becomes more interesting because it’s not on auto-pilot anymore.



Asking too many questions

If you ask too many questions the conversation can feel like a bit of an interrogation. Or like you don’t have that much too contribute. One alternative is to mix questions with statements. Continuing the conversation above you could skip the question and say:



Yeah, it’s great to just get out with your friends and relax over the weekend. We like to take a six-pack out to the park and play some Frisbee golf.

Nice. We went out in my friend’s boat last month and I tried these new lures from Sakamura. The blue ones were really great.

And then the conversation can flow on from there. And you can discuss Frisbee golf, the advantages/disadvantages of different lures or your favourite beer.



Tightening up

When in conversation with someone you just meet or when the usual few topics are exhausted an awkward silence or mood might appear. Or you might just become nervous not knowing exactly why.



Leil Lowndes <!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--> once said: “Never leave home without reading the newspaper.” If you’re running out of things to say, you can always start talking about the current news. It’s also good to stay updated on current water cooler-topics. Like what happened on the latest episode of Lost.

Comment on the aquarium at the party, or that one girl’s cool Halloween-costume or the host’s mp3-playlist. You can always start new conversations about something in your surroundings.

Assume rapport. If you feel nervous or weird when meeting someone for the first time assume rapport. What that means is that you imagine how you feel when you meet one of your best friends. And pretend that this new acquaintance is one of your best friends. Don’t overdo it though, you might not want to hug and kiss right away. But if you imagine this you’ll go into a positive emotional state. And you’ll greet and start talking to this new person with a smile and a friendly and relaxed attitude. Because that’s how you talk to your friends. It might sound a bit loopy or too simple. But it really works.

Poor delivery

One of the most important things in a conversation is not what you say, but how you say it. A change in these habits can make a big difference since your voice and body language is a vital part of communication. Some things to think about:



Slowing down. When you get excited about something it’s easy to start talking faster and faster. Try and slow down. It will make it much easier for people to listen and for you actually get what you are saying across to them.

Speaking up. Don’t be afraid to talk as loud as you need to for people to hear you.

Speaking clearly. Don’t mumble.

Speak with emotion. No one listens for that long if you speak with a monotone voice. Let your feelings be reflected in your voice.

Using pauses. Slowing down your talking plus adding a small pause between thoughts or sentences creates a bit of tension and anticipation. People will start to listen more attentively to what you’re saying. Listen to one of Brian Tracys cds or Steve Pavlina’s podcasts. Listen to how using small pauses makes what they are saying seem even more interesting.

Learn a bit about improving your body language as it can make your delivery a lot more effective. Read about laughter, posture and how to hold your drink in 18 ways to improve your body language.

Hogging the spot-light

I’ve been guilty of this one on more occasions than I wish to remember. Everyone involved in a conversation should get their time in the spotlight. Don’t interrupt someone when they are telling some anecdote or their view on what you are discussing to divert the attention back to yourself. Don’t hijack their story about skiing before it’s finished to share your best skiing-anecdote. Find a balance between listening and talking.



Having to be right

Avoid arguing and having to being right about every topic. Often a conversation is not really a discussion. It’s a more of a way to keep a good mood going. No one will be that impressed if you “win” every conversation. Instead just sit back, relax and help keep the good feelings going.



Talking about a weird or negative topic

If you’re at a party or somewhere were you are just getting to know some people you might want to avoid some topics. Talking about your bad health or relationships, your crappy job or boss, serial killers, technical lingo that only you and some other guy understands or anything that sucks the positive energy out of the conversation are topics to steer clear from. You might also want to save religion and politics for conversations with your friends.



Being boring

Don’t prattle on about your new car for 10 minutes oblivious to your surroundings. Always be prepared to drop a subject when you start to bore people. Or when everyone is getting bored and the topic is starting to run out of steam.



One good way to have something interesting to say is simply to lead an interesting life. And to focus on the positive stuff. Don’t start to whine about your boss or your job, people don’t want to hear that. Instead, talk about your last trip somewhere, some funny anecdote that happened while you where buying clothes, your plans for New Years Eve or something funny or exciting.





Another way is just to be genuinely interested. As Dale Carnegie <!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--> said:



“You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Which is just another way of saying that the way to make a friend is to be one.”





Knowing a little about many things or at least being open to talk about them instead of trying to steer the conversation back to your favourite subject is a nice quality.



Meaning: talking for what seems like hours about one topic. Topics may include work, favourite rock-band, TV-show and more work.





Opening up a bit and not clinging desperately to one topic will make the conversation feel more relaxed and open. You will come across like a person who can talk about many things with ease. As you’ve probably experienced with other people; this quality is something you appreciate in a conversation and makes you feel like you can connect to that person easily.





Not reciprocating

Open up and say what you think, share how you feel. If someone shares an experience, open up too and share one of your experiences. Don’t just stand there nodding and answer with short sentences. If someone is investing in the conversation they’d like you to invest too.



Like in so many areas in life, you can’t always wait for the other party to make the first move. When needed, be proactive and be the first one to open up and invest in the conversation. One way is by replacing some questions with statements. It makes you less passive and makes take a sort of stand.





Not contributing much

You might feel that you don’t have much to contribute to a conversation. But try anyway. Really listen and be interested in what the others are saying. Ask questions. Make relating statements.





Open your eyes too. Develop your observational skills to pick up interesting stuff in your surroundings to talk about. Develop your personal knowledge-bank by expanding your view of interesting things in the world. Read the newspapers and keep an eye on new water cooler-topics.





Work on your body language, how you talk and try assuming rapport to improve your communication skills.





But take it easy. Don’t do it all at once. You’ll just feel confused and overwhelmed. Instead, pick out the three most important things that you feel needs improving. Work on them every day for 3-4 weeks. Notice the difference and keep at it. Soon your new habits will start to pop up spontaneously when you are in a conversation.

Starting A Business at Age 15

I received an email from an aspiring young entrepreneur in Florida. He has the same question, albeit with his own parameters, that we all have when trying to get started. Here is the summary of his question, and my thoughts:

Dear Mike,



How do I become successful at my age? I am 15 and I have been inventing products since I was 13 and I just can’t get a good break. My parents don’t have enough money to patent any of my ideas and I can’t set up a meeting with a company because either they think I am too young or I don’t have a patent. I also can’t get a job because I am not old enough either.



My products are realistic and I know that I have great profitable ideas. But how do I pull this off with my current situation. It would be amazing if you could provide me with a powerful answer that can lead me into the road of success. I want to be able to support my family and I want to start selling products that can be great convenience in people lives. It is extremely frustrating when I think of a great idea but all I can do is sketch it and put it in my folder and it just sits their I need to take action now. Thank you very much for your help.



Mike’s Answer:



First of all, I am amazed that you have the wherewithal to be pursuing your own company at age 15. That is awesome! I understand it can be discouraging at times, but we all face this. Whatever you do, don’t stop pursuing your dream. Don’t stop!!!



In regards to your questions, I hate to say this, but I don’t have a magical answer. And I bet nobody does. Regardless, here are a few tips to get you back on track:



1.Check out the website of Cameron Johnson, he started his first company at age 7 and had four or five companies under his belt by the time he was your age.

2.Patenting and manufacturing a product requires money. But it doesn’t have to be your money. Maybe you can find a manufacturer that is willing to pay for the manufacturing for a stake in your company. Maybe you can go to extended family. There is always a way. Always. It took Walt Disney over 300 hundred tries to get financing. If you haven’t tried at least 300 times, you haven’t exhausted all the possibilities.

3.Service businesses can be typically started with very little money. Can you spawn a service company, that uses the concepts you have for your inventions? Then down the road convert over to the product.

4.Can you make it yourself? If you can build it with your own hands, you may be able to do it in your bedroom or basement. That’s how one of our most successful Partners got started.

5.Are you asking yourself better questions? A lot of us (me in particular) will get stuck in a rut of asking the same lame questions over and over in my head. The result is the same lame answer. Instead, we need to ask better and NEW questions of ourselves. Then just sit back and let our heads sort it out.

6.Whatever you do, DON’T GIVE UP. Maybe these tips will help get you started, but they are not the end all be all. Be relentless, be tireless, and you will ultimately win.

And one more thing. On your eighteenth birthday, contact Obsidian Launch. You sound like the type person we like to partner with.



I wish you great success.

http://www.toiletpaperentrepreneur.com/the-right-actions/starting-a-business-at-age-15

Message from Barack Obama: "Time to begin again"

http://www.usingenglish.com/quizzes/89.html

Psicologia inversa en su estado mas puro

Portia de Rossi on Ellen (4 November 2010) (1 of 3) [HD]

How to Change Habits Using Your Unconscious Mind

Assertiveness - Tips for being assertive & saying 'No'

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/gGxRLwvOEhs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Eleven killed after gunman opens fire in Rio de Janeiro elementary school before turning weapon on himself

 

By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 10:52 PM on 7th April 2011

Killing spree: 24-year-old Wellington de Oliveira shot dead 11 children at a Rio de Janeiro school and then killed himself

A gunman killed 11 children at an elementary school in Rio de Janeiro before turning the gun on himself.
And authorities say a further 20 people were injured in the massacre, which took place inside the Tasso de Oliveira school in the city's Realengo neighbourhood this morning.
The gunman has been named as 24-year-old Wellington de Oliveira, who was a former pupil at the school, which teaches children aged ten to 15.
According to police, Oliveira entered the school at about 8.30am carrying two guns and a suicide note. He told school officials he was there to deliver a speech, and then opened fire on students.
Police commander Djalma Beltrame said the gunman left a letter at the scene indicating he wanted to kill himself, but it did not give a clear motive for the shooting. Police said he did not have a criminal record.
Several of the wounded children fleeing to the street called a police patrol, which rushed to the school.
A police officer later told reporters he shot Oliveira in the leg after the gunman left a classroom and was attempting to reach the third floor of the building. Oliveira fell onto the stairs and shot himself in the head.
Television images showed hundreds of distraught people gathered outside the school after it was cordoned off.

Worst nightmare: Anxious parents and relatives of pupils wait outside school desperate for news of their loved-ones

Grief: Anxious people wait outside the school for news after it was barricaded off by police officers

TV also showed three helicopters landing on a football field next to the school and then ferrying the wounded to nearby hospitals.
Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff wept when commenting on the incident during a speech to business leaders and requested a moment of silence for the victims.

Ready for action: Armed police arrive at the school after the alarm was raised

'This type of crime is not characteristic of our country and therefore we are all ... united in repudiating this act of violence,' he said.
The city's Governor, Sergio Cabral, added: 'We have to show solidarity and support for the families of the children [killed by] that psychopath, that animal.'
The attack is the first serial killing of its kind in Brazil. Violence in Rio has traditionally been associated with drug gangs that control vast areas of the city’s slum communities.
Rio’s government has in recent months made considerable advances against narco-trafficking but crime remains a problem in the beachside tourist haven.

Carnage: Firefighters carry the body of the suspect from the building after he opened fire with a handgun

Distraught: Parents scream for information after the shooting this morning

Motive? The gunman, believed to be a former pupil at the school, left a note stating he wanted to kill himself

Crime experts say contraband firearms from police and the army often end up in the hands of criminals.
Authorities have stepped up slum pacification efforts that have created a permanent police presence in poor neighborhoods in hopes of tightening security in advance of the 2014 World Cup soccer championship and the 2016 Olympic Games.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1374484/Brazil-shooting-11-dead-Rio-Janeiro-school-gunman-opens-fire.html#ixzz1IsqngHZC

Ways to Save Money on Business Expenses

Tips for Saving Money on Energy, Office Equipment, Marketing & More

By Susan Ward, About.com Guide

There are many costs to doing business that you just can't do anything about. There's no way to save money on business registration, for instance, or licensing fees. Fortunately, there are areas where business costs can be cut - providing savings that can drive more profit to your bottom line. Here are ways to save money on a variety of business expenses, from office equipment and energy through marketing and taxes:

Office Furniture and Office Equipment
In my office I am still using the desk I purchased over ten years ago at a surplus store for less than $100. I sometimes think about replacing it because it's a little dinged up, but I've never found anything affordable that has such a large work surface. For more tips on saving money on office furniture and equipment, see Office Design on the Cheap.
Gas (Fuel Costs)
Cycling to work. Carpooling. Relying on public transit. They’re all great ideas for saving money on gas but they just don't work if you’re running a business. 10 Ways to Save Money on Gas presents ideas that businesses can use.
Utility/Energy Costs
One fact of life is that energy costs are always on the rise, so if you can cut energy costs, you'll just save more and more over the long term. In my home office here, we've replaced all our standard light bulbs with compact fluorescent light bulbs - they use 75% less electricity and last years longer. 10 Ways to Green Your Business presents more ideas for saving money on your energy bills.
Insurance
The wrong way to save money on business insurance is to go without. The right way is to get the insurance you need at the best price. 5 Ways to Save Money on Business Insurance and How to Save Money on Home Based Business Insurance will show you how to do that.
Marketing Costs
There are basically two ways to save money on marketing costs. The first is to use marketing strategies that are free or quite inexpensive. 10 Low Cost Ways to Promote Your Business and Attracting New Business on a Shoestring Budget by Kelley Robertson presents marketing strategies that are inexpensive and effective.
The second approach is to perform marketing activities yourself rather than hire someone else to do them. For instance, many businesses outsource market research, but you can do it yourself as you’ll see in this Guide to Do-It-Yourself Market Research. Another example is search engine optimization. While many online businesses hire another company to do this, you can do it yourself. Search Engine Optimization Step by Step will show you how.
Legal Matters
I don’t generally recommend trying to save money on legal processes. Lawyers and other legal professionals don’t just fill out forms for you; they also provide valuable advice and can point out legal implications that you are not aware of. But for those who do want to it themselves, these articles lay out the procedures that you need to follow:

• Trademark Registration in Canada
• How to Incorporate Your Business in Canada

Income Taxes
Trying to save money by doing your own taxes is a "six of one half a dozen of another" proposition. On the one hand, you don't have to pay a tax preparer or accountant to prepare and file your income tax return(s) when you do it yourself; on the other, such professionals can give you advice that can save you more money on taxes than the professional's fee - and those fees are tax deductible anyhow.
Still, for those who want to do their own, Your First Business Income Tax Return outlines the process of completing and filing a T1 Form as a business, while Top Canadian Tax Software Programs presents the best options for preparing and filing T1 and T2 forms for businesses.

The Role of Emotion : The Art of Managing Everyday Conflict

Chapter 6 The Role of Emotion : The Art of Managing Everyday Conflict
Erik Fisher, Ph.D. : www.erikfisher.com
Emotion has taught mankind to reason.

—Marquis de Vauvenargues (1715-1747)

Learning Objectives

• Provide a framework for understanding the purpose of emotions
• Discuss the concept of emotional aspects and how they affect each of us
• Provide a developmental model for emotions, beliefs, and attitudes

I’ve devoted a lot of time to laying groundwork in order to get to this point in the book.  We’ve spent time on power structures and how they lead to conflict, communication patterns, historical perspectives of conflict and how emotion influences outcomes.  We’ve looked at dichotomies that often result in an unfounded and often unproductive exchange of emotions and various roles people play in conflicts.  Do you believe that there are any unneeded emotions?  If it helps, return to the list of emotions and create your own list of emotions that you feel aren’t necessary. 

Have you ever asked yourself, “Why am I feeling what I am feeling?  What possible purpose could this feeling have?” However, we often forget to ask, “What can I learn from this feeling?”  Instead, we often try to hide the emotion or run from it.  Emotions play a fundamental role in life.  What do emotions do for our lives?  They help us to form relationships, experience growth, and evaluate our performance.  Besides that, they prompt us to learn and sometimes prompt us to quit, fight, cry, lie, and/or to hide.

A Reason for Feeling

Did you ever wonder how long a person would live if they could not feel fear?  Why would someone want to apologize if guilt was not present?  Why would someone miss the company of others if they could not feel loneliness or sadness?  We couldn’t appreciate life if these emotions disappeared.  Unfortunately, many times, we feel unable to pick and choose the emotions we feel, but we try to select how we display them.  As I said early on, everyone feels all of the same emotions; it is what we do with them that makes us different.  In the dichotomy of strong versus weak, we learned to perceive these emotions differently, and depending on how we perceive them, we will show them differently to others.

Are we a society of manipulators?  We favor rational thought instead of expressing emotion.  We must consider emotions as they pertain to dealing with life issues, but logic is an integral part of that process.  In addition, when emotion enters into the process, it is important to make sure we balance these emotions with logic.  Often people try to use logic, or they become carried away with emotion, but they do not seek the balance in understanding that emotion can be a healthy part of an interaction.  Most emotions have a logical place, depending on the situation.  If we can consider what the emotions are trying to tell us, then they can often help us to understand how to address the issue.  As a result, instead of responding in a reactive manner, we need to learn how to respond in a proactive manner.

We often speak with logic instead of feeling; we believe that we are not vulnerable if we are not feeling.  Through logic, we believe we can mask emotions and defend ourselves from threat.  This type of logic-based, emotionally avoidant communication occurs with children and world leaders alike, and at all levels in between.  As such, communication has become a cat and mouse game, sometimes with deadly results.  We often mistake arrogance for pride, and believe in the nobility of martyrs.  But, if we look at these martyrs more closely, we may see that many died out of fear to express their true feelings.  At first glance, it seems that emotions and logic do not mesh well.  Although you may not want to do so, it may be in your best interest to consider the notion that there could be a logical purpose for each emotion.
Many of my clients often feel that fear, shame, sadness, and guilt are worthless feelings.  They feel that if these emotions did not exist, they would be much better off.  Upon further discussion, they often find that they cannot do without these emotions.  Instead, they realize that they chose to deal with the emotions in an undesirable manner throughout their lives, which contributed to many of their problems.

If we think about each emotion without clouding our judgment with emotions, we would see that all our feelings have a purpose.  There are two major viewpoints regarding the development of the human race: creationism and evolution.  Creationism centers on the belief that our “Creator” made us as we are.  Evolutionism asserts that over a long period, we have adapted to our surroundings and became the humans of today.  Perhaps we should think of the development of emotions from these same vantage points.  If we believe in creationism, then we more easily accept the idea that all emotions are ”God given” and serve a purpose.  We could then say that our challenge is to understand each emotion and master their meanings.  If we believe in the concept of evolution and/or do not wish to consider a divine purpose for our emotions, we may consider that our emotions have evolved, and they have enabled us to survive.  In this case, it makes sense to try to understand the roles they play in our life and thereby see how they may contribute to further growth and evolution.

Emotional Mastery Versus Control

You may have observed my use of the word "master" in reference to emotion.  I discriminate between the terms “master” and “control.”   According to Webster’s New World Dictionary, Control is defined as: (verb usage) “4.  To exercise authority over; direct; commands 5.  To hold back; curb; restrain.”  (Noun usage) “1.  The act or fact of controlling; power to direct or regulate; ability to use effectively 2.  The condition of being directed or restrained.”  The most appropriate definition of the term Master is defined as: (adjective usage) “3.  To become an expert in.”  I noticed that several of the definitions for the word “master”  contain the word “control.”  However, the aspect that makes these words different is what we will examine.  The act of becoming an expert indicates several things.  Words like understanding, appreciation and management seem to lend themselves to the notion of mastery.

In contrast, “control” may cause us to think of a time, place or situation, but it doesn’t seem to imply understanding or appreciation.  It is likely that you know of two types of managers in the business-world or in social dealings.  One type of manager directs people through mastery of the task at hand and understands the goal; this manager knows and appreciates the talents of the employees he or she manages.  The other type of manager controls or commands and orders his or her employees to do tasks that they may not be skilled at performing.  Businesses want their employees to be happy and productive and, above all, to work as a team; management through mastery often accomplishes these objectives. 

The need for control comes from the desire to avoid experiencing fear.  There is a simple logic behind having control.  If I can control everything around me, I can control which emotions I will feel, and I may avoid feeling fear or any emotions connected to fear.  To master our emotions, we must do a few things.  We must understand, appreciate and manage the perception and expression of emotions in a manner that is respectful to us and to others. 

If we can accept the idea that each emotion exists for a reason, then we can find the value that each emotion provides to us.  Finding this value may allow us to understand our feelings and express them in more adaptive ways.  The expression of anger does not have to involve yelling or violence, sadness does not have to involve crying, fear does not have to involve hiding or avoiding. 

If we listen to our emotions, and understand what our emotions mean, we can respect them and their intensity often fades.  But if we ignore what our emotions tell us, our feelings build up and may result in a display of negative behavior.  People sometimes resort to shouting and physical violence if they cannot get their point across.  Likewise, our emotions may incite the same types of behaviors in us if we ignore them. 

Is it possible to express true feelings without extreme behavior?  If we understand our feelings, we can express them in a rational manner but still convey what we feel.  It is important to understand that we can express true emotion without shouting or the threat of violence.  We may associate strong emotion with aggressive words or acts, but don’t confuse these behaviors with the actual emotions.  Similarly, simply because a person can state their feelings in a calm manner, it does not mean they are insincere. 

Newborn Feelings

We will look at my theory of emotional development before further discussion of the purposes for our feelings.  Newborn babies feel emotions, and some would agree that babies feel emotions before birth.  In short, we can feel and express emotions at the time of birth.  Babies may not understand their emotions, but they quickly learn that certain behaviors evoke certain responses from others. 

Do infants know the differences between emotions?  They probably develop this knowledge but cannot use words to express these differences.  Babies—and everyone else, for that matter—want to feel loved and accepted.  If someone loves and accepts a baby, they help to assure the baby’s survival.  However, even before we can seek love and acceptance, we must survive.  This implies that, sometimes, a baby’s need for survival can overwhelm the need for acceptance.  The baby has no means of expressing these survival needs, except by crying or yelling.  The people around the baby may not respond to its cries with love and acceptance, but will likely feed or change them.  Depending on the feedback the baby receives, the baby may experience confusion, frustration, and other emotions without understanding them; but it gets what it needs to survive: food.  Let’s assume that, at the moment of birth, a newborn is fully aware of all emotions, but cannot understand or express them.  As the infant continues to experience life, the emotions and experiences contribute to the development of the conscious mind and unconscious or subconscious mind. 

There is no single definition for the unconscious and/or subconscious in literature.  I will use these terms interchangeably in this text, but some authors differentiate between them.  For our discussion, I will use a definition for unconscious from Webster’s New World Dictionary, which is, the sum of all thoughts, memories, impulses, desires, feelings of which the individual is not conscious, but which influence his emotions and behavior.  As the conscious and unconscious develop, a child receives feedback from his environment in many ways, which affects the development of the conscious and unconscious.  They learn the relationship between actions that gain rewards and those that evoke punishment. 

If we want to feel loved and accepted, then we might learn to try to hide or reject parts of our self that do not help us attain these things.  As we mature, we may experience many memories, thoughts, attitudes, emotions and beliefs that our conscious mind cannot store; in this case, we need to place some events and experiences out of our conscious awareness.  Therefore, the subconscious develops out of a need for storage for our experiences and emotions.  We tend to repress events and emotions that we wish to forget, did not receive love or acceptance from, or couldn’t understand.  As I see it, we begin to create an internal hierarchy of emotions and experiences to influence our daily lives, whether we know it or not.  This hierarchy of emotion often become an ingrained part of our subconscious.
In the following illustration, the human awareness is demonstrated as a large sphere of energy.  Each emotional experience, and developing attitude or belief becomes a deposit of energy or aspect of self that we may use or store.  The smaller “spheres of influence” in the unconscious indicate these aspects.  The varying size of each sphere shows the relative power or importance of each sphere as we may judge them. If a person wants to keep an experience or emotion out of the conscious mind, he must expend energy to keep it away.  In doing this, the need for defenses arises. 

Commonly, we use one of two ways to defend emotions and experiences that we want to protect.  We can use emotions to intimidate other people or other aspects of ourselves. That is where the term “sphere of influence” comes into play.  The other means of defense involves a logical approach that might seek to outwit other emotions and individuals, and in a sense, we “talk ourselves out of” unwanted situations or perceptions.

We use defenses to guard emotions and to fend off certain experiences.  We also use these defenses to protect us from external attacks.  Depending on how the subconscious perceives a threat, it may call on defenses to protect aspects of itself from threats to the conscious and unconscious.  Defense tactics will differ from person to person. 

As stated earlier, through life events, a person may learn that emotions are bad, wrong, and/or weak.  Over the years, our conscious mind learns to rely upon logic as a medium for processing experiences.  In this manner, if the conscious mind only needs reason, in theory, life should be easier to figure out and deal with. 
Emotions may become taboo to the conscious mind, because of the numerous times in life when emotions only seemed to make things worse.  Although the conscious mind may seek to block emotions, it never fully succeeds.  This situation is similar to a person standing on the other side of a fence calling you names.  You hear what they say and, although you cannot see the source of these insults, the words still hurt.  You may try to distance yourself from the fence, but you can only go so far, because the fence surrounds you.  In other words, we cannot escape our emotion and memories, but we can make every effort to avoid them.  It is usually only a matter of time before we have to deal with them, in some capacity. 

Let us continue this fence metaphor.  Imagine the individual calling you names felt a strong need to let you know he was there; he may have a difficult time knowing whether you can hear him because he cannot see your reaction.  He may decide to try to tear down the fence.  If that does not work, he may dig a hole under the fence, or set the fence on fire (if he feels desperate enough).  Besides these things, he may try to find more people to make noise to get our attention.  In relating this to a person, considering mind-body connections, it makes sense that people who do not deal with emotions often have health issues such as heart problems, cancer, immune deficiencies, etc.  The relationship between these health factors and repressed emotions is too high to ignore.  We can view this situation as our emotions’ way of telling our logic-based conscious mind that it is time to listen.  It is clear, however, that people fail to listen to these emotions and solely blame their health problems on things like diet, smoking or genetics.  My experience with hypnosis has proved to me time and again that unresolved emotional issues contribute to many physical problems. The biggest issue beyond that is that many people do not want to take the time and expense to work through those issues to thorough resolution.

In order to consider the cause of disease, we need to look at theories about what causes disease.  One important theory is The Diathesis-Stress Model of disease.  This theory asserts that people contract a disease when they are predisposed and experience an amount of stress that activates the disease.  Without these stressors, or if the strategic group of stressors never occur, it is less likely that the person will develop the disease.  The Diathesis-Stress Model is similar to finding the weakest link in the chain.  It does not matter how strong all of the other links of the chain are; if there is a single weak link, the chain will break.  The weakest link goes unnoticed, unless we stress the chain. 

Regarding the impact of emotions on ourselves, whether we realize it or not, we often use our emotions to manipulate perceptions of others and possibly more often of ourselves.  We may use anger to invoke fear, sadness to receive pity, and guilt to gain control.  In this manner, sometimes our unconscious may try to influence our conscious mind through these same tactics. 

If you focus on the expression of these emotions, there is always some experience of a weakly perceived emotion shortly before the conflict.  As such, we see that a protective emotion always appears in the wake of a weaker emotion.  We need to understand the main purpose of these protective emotions; this information may help us to resolve conflicts.  Taken further, there are unique features to each emotion that are important to discuss.

Concept of Emotional Aspects

We often hear many different “voices” or “opinions” within us at any one time.  We should not confuse these “internal voices” with those of schizophrenics or “multiple personalities.” The degree to which these internal voices affect us, as well as the verbal content of the voices, may cover a range of expressions.  At the point where these “voices” interfere with our thoughts or suggest harmful behaviors, they become pathological. 

I have developed a theoretical perspective that we all exist within the range of having a single identity to having many aspects or “spheres of influence.” If we only contained one identity, then we could expect to respond the same way in similar situations, much as a computer program operates.  We do not respond the same way every time; there are many times that we may do something and wonder why.  In such cases, we may feel as if someone else took over and acted in our place.  This model is difficult to prove through research.

Since we all are different and may have several aspects, no two people will respond the same way in a research setting.  It is likely you have seen books on the “inner child” and other similar titles.  In addition to us having inner children, so, too, could there be adolescents and other aspects.  This theory can be used as a model to aid in understanding why we do the things we do, since the logic from a single identity model often defies explanation.

Do most adults have more than one aspect?  If so, why?  Most likely it is because, throughout our lives, we repress emotion and experiences.  Instead, adults often have many different points of view.  The extent an individual represses or isolates their emotions and memories will depend on their experiences, attitudes, and beliefs.  The more someone tries to repress or forget their past and build walls or defenses around these experiences (most often because of the pain and trauma from those experiences) the more that they could create other identities or personalities beyond what I would refer to as an aspect of our personality.  When people who have experienced severe and/or recurrent trauma from early ages create “multiple personalities” or identities, we call this diagnosis Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). 
Perhaps you have seen movies or books like Three Faces of Eve and Sybil.  These provide examples of a person who has different personalities, and the “core personality” is most often not initially aware of the others.  Such a situation is common for people with this condition.  During the periods when an alternate personality assumes control, the person often blacks out and cannot recall what happened.  Through therapy, the client may learn about the existence of these other identities and how they express themselves.  DID creates some interesting psychological issues.  Some clients with DID tend to form some identities that are psychologically adaptive and are very clear-cut from other identities.  Since the personalities are independent, they do not influence each other, but they often have conflicts internally and their behaviors can cause problems for “everyone” when they are out on the surface.

Tony Robbins: Why we do what we do, and how we can do it better

100 not out! Record-breaking Brazilian goalkeeper scores again

Brazilian Rogerio Ceni converted a free kick on Sunday to become the first ever goalkeeper in world football to score 100 goals, helping Sao Paulo defeat rivals Corinthians 2-1 in the process.
'It was beautiful,' said Ceni, who won the World Cup with Brazil in 2002 as their third-choice keeper.

Remarkable: Rogerio Ceni is mobbed by team-mates after scoring the winner in the Sao Paulo derby

Ceni struck a perfect right-footed shot over the wall, curling the ball into the top right corner past goalkeeper Julio Cesar in the 54th minute at the Arena Barueri.
'As a goalkeeper you don't enter the match thinking about scoring a goal, but it happened just as I wanted: with a free kick, deciding an important match. For me, it doesn't matter that it was against Corinthians, but for the fans it must have been important.'

It was Ceni's 56th free kick goal, while the others have came from penalties - in one memorable season for Sao Paulo in 2005 Ceni scored an incredible 21 goals in all competitions.
FIFA says Ceni has 98 goals, but the goalkeeper counts two he scored in unofficial friendlies - one against a combined Santos and Flamengo in 1998 and the other against Russian club Uralan Elista in an exhibition tournament in 2000. Even by FIFA's count, he is the goalkeeper with the most goals ever scored.
Ceni, 38, appeared 17 times for Brazil between 1997 and 2006 but never managed to get on the scoresheet for his country.

World Cup winner: Ceni with Ronaldinho (left) and Ronaldo (right) in his Brazil days

Corinthians are set to officially announce the signing of former Brazil striker Adriano in the coming days, while Sao Paulo will introduce striker Luis Fabiano to its fans on Tuesday.

The draw between Corinthians and Sao Paulo allowed Luiz Felipe Scolari's Palmeiras to take the lead in the 20-team standings after they beat Bragantino 3-0 on Saturday.
Here are all 100 of Rogerio Ceni's goals...



Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1370657/Rogerio-Ceni-scores-100th-career-goal.html#ixzz1HvqMlDCL

Do You Get Frustrated With Others?

Barack Obama - (Inglês) EUA e Brasil têm de ser 'parceiros iguais', diz ...

Are you tight fisted?

Personality Quizzes & Tests

Are you tight fisted?

1. A friend needs a small loan.

Please answer this question.
• You lend the money.
• You make excuses.

2. Do you count the minutes, when you talk to some one on telephone?

Please answer this question.
• Nope. Never.
• Always, the watch is in my hand.

3. Do you buy clothes only during an annual sale?

Please answer this question.
• No, I buy whenever I need or when something catches my fancy.
• Annual sales rule.

4. A couple of kids knock your door for some charity. You

Please answer this question.
• Appreciate the kids and give them 5 dollars each.
• Appreciate the kids and close the door.

5. You believe in borrowing novels. Why buy them?

Please answer this question.
• No
• Yes

6. You go to your best friends birthday party

Please answer this question.
• With a nice expensive gift
• With a nice birthday card

7. Your home needs a painting job badly

Please answer this question.
• You try to get it done asap.
• You postpone it by six months. You are used to see the bad walls any way.

More young adults in 20s and 30s living with parents than in past 20 years

Thirtysomethings unable to get toehold on property ladder choose to stay in family home, says ONS

Alan Travis, home affairs editor

guardian.co.uk, Tuesday 8 December 2009 17.00 GMT

Article history

 

 

Failure to get a toehold on the property ladder accounts for a third of the young adults who remain at home. Photograph: Janine Wiedel Photolibrary/Alamy

The meals are hot, the fridge is always full and the rent is free. So is it any surprise that more twenty- and thirtysomethings in Britain are living at home with their parents than at any time in the past 20 years?

The Office for National Statistics says many young adults in their mid-20s and early 30s, and especially men, are increasingly postponing the transition to adulthood.

One in three "adult-kids" who have not left the parental nest say they are still living at home because they cannot afford to get a toehold on the property ladder by buying or renting. But others, who have been dubbed kippers – kids in parents' pockets – are, say the demographers, staying through choice.

In the past, British children have tended to leave home earlier than their European cousins but the latest ONS figures, published today, show that 25% of men aged 25 to 29 now live with their parents. This is almost double the proportion of women in their late 20s (13%) who still live at home.
The official statistics also show that, for more than 10% of men who have reached their early 30s, home is still with the parents; this compares with 5% for women of a similar age.
The statisticians show also that among those who have left the family nest there has been a shift away from their moving in with a partner to living alone or sharing with others.
The demographers say the reasons behind the change vary according to social class, and that the last 20 years since 1988 have seen changes in the opportunities and constraints faced by young people in their transition to independent living.
On the one hand, the massive expansion in higher education has seen the number of undergraduate students triple since 1970, from 414,000 to 1.27 million. On the other hand, the collapse of the youth labour market during the 1980s has been followed by a continuation of high unemployment rates despite periods of relative economic buoyancy.

"The recent recession has been accompanied by a sharp increase in unemployment rates among young adults," says an article by Ann Berrington, Julie Stone and Jane Falkingham of Southampton University, published in the latest edition of Population Trends.

The authors say that recent graduates, especially men, are increasingly returning to live with their parents after graduating. The demographers call this group the "boomerang children". Their numbers are being swelled by the increasing levels of student debt they have accumulated by the time they finish their studies. And those with few educational qualifications are increasingly facing long periods of unemployment and can't afford to leave home.

The lack of jobs is being compounded by changes in the housing market. Even those in work cannot afford to move out of the family home as first-time buyers now face house prices that are, on average, five times average incomes, compared with a multiple of three times 20 years ago.

But they add that these factors only partly explain why people are also postponing forming families and perhaps marriage.
"It is also a reflection of the changing roles of men and women and changing expectations of normative ages for partnership and family formation," say the authors. "It is unclear the extent to which remaining in (or returning to) the parental home is an outcome of choice rather than constraint for these 'emerging adults'."
The authors do say that their results suggest that the transition to residential independence among young adults is becoming increasingly protracted and reversible for all age groups.
Even when they do finally leave the nest, the twenty- and thirtysomethings are still postponing the moment of settling down with a significant other. This is borne out by the fact that the average age for forming a stable partnership and having children is rising among more affluent young adults.
The report notes: "Over the past 20 years there has been a move away from living in a new family (especially a couple) and a move towards living outside a family (either alone or sharing with others).
"Moreover, although a minority are living outside a family at a given point in time, many more are likely to have experienced this type of living arrangement at some point during young adulthood."
These changes mean that "many more advantaged young adults appear not ready to settle down during their 20s and are likely to return to the parental home before setting off once more". The social scientists add: "For this latter group of 'emergent adults', living with a parent may often be the preferred option until partnership or family formation."
The study also shows up strong regional variations around Britain in the pattern of adult offspring still living with their parents. The proportion of "kippers" is highest in Northern Ireland, the West Midlands, outer London and parts of the north-east beyond Tyneside and Wearside.
The proportion of those living at home with their parents is lowest in inner London, south Yorkshire and west Yorkshire, partly because of the greater number of colleges in the region.

Stay at home kids

• Young adults in their mid-20s and early 30s are more likely to be living with their parents in 2008 than in 1998.
• This is more likely to happen in Belfast, Glasgow, Birmingham and outer London.
• When they do eventually leave home, young adults are more likely to be living alone or sharing with others than "settling down" with a partner.
• Young men who are unemployed are increasingly likely to be living at home in their early 20s.
• More college graduates – boomerang kids – are returning home to live with their parents in their early 20s.
• Twice as many men as women are living at home with their parents.

I don't like you Mommy

Kids Talk About Stuttering

Careers Planning : How to Choose a Career for Your Personality

Technology Impact on Internet Marketing

U.S.: Young and Mixed in America - nytimes.com/video

Bill Gates Speech at Harvard (part 1)

Ordering Food

Learn to Speak Clearly & Confidently in American English

How To: Create a Budget

Ben Stein Talks Retirement -- Part 1

How much money does a basketball player make?

How to improve your memory!

New Year's Resolution Song

New Year´s resolution