http://www.usingenglish.com/quizzes/89.html

Psicologia inversa en su estado mas puro

Portia de Rossi on Ellen (4 November 2010) (1 of 3) [HD]

How to Change Habits Using Your Unconscious Mind

Assertiveness - Tips for being assertive & saying 'No'

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/gGxRLwvOEhs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Eleven killed after gunman opens fire in Rio de Janeiro elementary school before turning weapon on himself

 

By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 10:52 PM on 7th April 2011

Killing spree: 24-year-old Wellington de Oliveira shot dead 11 children at a Rio de Janeiro school and then killed himself

A gunman killed 11 children at an elementary school in Rio de Janeiro before turning the gun on himself.
And authorities say a further 20 people were injured in the massacre, which took place inside the Tasso de Oliveira school in the city's Realengo neighbourhood this morning.
The gunman has been named as 24-year-old Wellington de Oliveira, who was a former pupil at the school, which teaches children aged ten to 15.
According to police, Oliveira entered the school at about 8.30am carrying two guns and a suicide note. He told school officials he was there to deliver a speech, and then opened fire on students.
Police commander Djalma Beltrame said the gunman left a letter at the scene indicating he wanted to kill himself, but it did not give a clear motive for the shooting. Police said he did not have a criminal record.
Several of the wounded children fleeing to the street called a police patrol, which rushed to the school.
A police officer later told reporters he shot Oliveira in the leg after the gunman left a classroom and was attempting to reach the third floor of the building. Oliveira fell onto the stairs and shot himself in the head.
Television images showed hundreds of distraught people gathered outside the school after it was cordoned off.

Worst nightmare: Anxious parents and relatives of pupils wait outside school desperate for news of their loved-ones

Grief: Anxious people wait outside the school for news after it was barricaded off by police officers

TV also showed three helicopters landing on a football field next to the school and then ferrying the wounded to nearby hospitals.
Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff wept when commenting on the incident during a speech to business leaders and requested a moment of silence for the victims.

Ready for action: Armed police arrive at the school after the alarm was raised

'This type of crime is not characteristic of our country and therefore we are all ... united in repudiating this act of violence,' he said.
The city's Governor, Sergio Cabral, added: 'We have to show solidarity and support for the families of the children [killed by] that psychopath, that animal.'
The attack is the first serial killing of its kind in Brazil. Violence in Rio has traditionally been associated with drug gangs that control vast areas of the city’s slum communities.
Rio’s government has in recent months made considerable advances against narco-trafficking but crime remains a problem in the beachside tourist haven.

Carnage: Firefighters carry the body of the suspect from the building after he opened fire with a handgun

Distraught: Parents scream for information after the shooting this morning

Motive? The gunman, believed to be a former pupil at the school, left a note stating he wanted to kill himself

Crime experts say contraband firearms from police and the army often end up in the hands of criminals.
Authorities have stepped up slum pacification efforts that have created a permanent police presence in poor neighborhoods in hopes of tightening security in advance of the 2014 World Cup soccer championship and the 2016 Olympic Games.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1374484/Brazil-shooting-11-dead-Rio-Janeiro-school-gunman-opens-fire.html#ixzz1IsqngHZC

Ways to Save Money on Business Expenses

Tips for Saving Money on Energy, Office Equipment, Marketing & More

By Susan Ward, About.com Guide

There are many costs to doing business that you just can't do anything about. There's no way to save money on business registration, for instance, or licensing fees. Fortunately, there are areas where business costs can be cut - providing savings that can drive more profit to your bottom line. Here are ways to save money on a variety of business expenses, from office equipment and energy through marketing and taxes:

Office Furniture and Office Equipment
In my office I am still using the desk I purchased over ten years ago at a surplus store for less than $100. I sometimes think about replacing it because it's a little dinged up, but I've never found anything affordable that has such a large work surface. For more tips on saving money on office furniture and equipment, see Office Design on the Cheap.
Gas (Fuel Costs)
Cycling to work. Carpooling. Relying on public transit. They’re all great ideas for saving money on gas but they just don't work if you’re running a business. 10 Ways to Save Money on Gas presents ideas that businesses can use.
Utility/Energy Costs
One fact of life is that energy costs are always on the rise, so if you can cut energy costs, you'll just save more and more over the long term. In my home office here, we've replaced all our standard light bulbs with compact fluorescent light bulbs - they use 75% less electricity and last years longer. 10 Ways to Green Your Business presents more ideas for saving money on your energy bills.
Insurance
The wrong way to save money on business insurance is to go without. The right way is to get the insurance you need at the best price. 5 Ways to Save Money on Business Insurance and How to Save Money on Home Based Business Insurance will show you how to do that.
Marketing Costs
There are basically two ways to save money on marketing costs. The first is to use marketing strategies that are free or quite inexpensive. 10 Low Cost Ways to Promote Your Business and Attracting New Business on a Shoestring Budget by Kelley Robertson presents marketing strategies that are inexpensive and effective.
The second approach is to perform marketing activities yourself rather than hire someone else to do them. For instance, many businesses outsource market research, but you can do it yourself as you’ll see in this Guide to Do-It-Yourself Market Research. Another example is search engine optimization. While many online businesses hire another company to do this, you can do it yourself. Search Engine Optimization Step by Step will show you how.
Legal Matters
I don’t generally recommend trying to save money on legal processes. Lawyers and other legal professionals don’t just fill out forms for you; they also provide valuable advice and can point out legal implications that you are not aware of. But for those who do want to it themselves, these articles lay out the procedures that you need to follow:

• Trademark Registration in Canada
• How to Incorporate Your Business in Canada

Income Taxes
Trying to save money by doing your own taxes is a "six of one half a dozen of another" proposition. On the one hand, you don't have to pay a tax preparer or accountant to prepare and file your income tax return(s) when you do it yourself; on the other, such professionals can give you advice that can save you more money on taxes than the professional's fee - and those fees are tax deductible anyhow.
Still, for those who want to do their own, Your First Business Income Tax Return outlines the process of completing and filing a T1 Form as a business, while Top Canadian Tax Software Programs presents the best options for preparing and filing T1 and T2 forms for businesses.

The Role of Emotion : The Art of Managing Everyday Conflict

Chapter 6 The Role of Emotion : The Art of Managing Everyday Conflict
Erik Fisher, Ph.D. : www.erikfisher.com
Emotion has taught mankind to reason.

—Marquis de Vauvenargues (1715-1747)

Learning Objectives

• Provide a framework for understanding the purpose of emotions
• Discuss the concept of emotional aspects and how they affect each of us
• Provide a developmental model for emotions, beliefs, and attitudes

I’ve devoted a lot of time to laying groundwork in order to get to this point in the book.  We’ve spent time on power structures and how they lead to conflict, communication patterns, historical perspectives of conflict and how emotion influences outcomes.  We’ve looked at dichotomies that often result in an unfounded and often unproductive exchange of emotions and various roles people play in conflicts.  Do you believe that there are any unneeded emotions?  If it helps, return to the list of emotions and create your own list of emotions that you feel aren’t necessary. 

Have you ever asked yourself, “Why am I feeling what I am feeling?  What possible purpose could this feeling have?” However, we often forget to ask, “What can I learn from this feeling?”  Instead, we often try to hide the emotion or run from it.  Emotions play a fundamental role in life.  What do emotions do for our lives?  They help us to form relationships, experience growth, and evaluate our performance.  Besides that, they prompt us to learn and sometimes prompt us to quit, fight, cry, lie, and/or to hide.

A Reason for Feeling

Did you ever wonder how long a person would live if they could not feel fear?  Why would someone want to apologize if guilt was not present?  Why would someone miss the company of others if they could not feel loneliness or sadness?  We couldn’t appreciate life if these emotions disappeared.  Unfortunately, many times, we feel unable to pick and choose the emotions we feel, but we try to select how we display them.  As I said early on, everyone feels all of the same emotions; it is what we do with them that makes us different.  In the dichotomy of strong versus weak, we learned to perceive these emotions differently, and depending on how we perceive them, we will show them differently to others.

Are we a society of manipulators?  We favor rational thought instead of expressing emotion.  We must consider emotions as they pertain to dealing with life issues, but logic is an integral part of that process.  In addition, when emotion enters into the process, it is important to make sure we balance these emotions with logic.  Often people try to use logic, or they become carried away with emotion, but they do not seek the balance in understanding that emotion can be a healthy part of an interaction.  Most emotions have a logical place, depending on the situation.  If we can consider what the emotions are trying to tell us, then they can often help us to understand how to address the issue.  As a result, instead of responding in a reactive manner, we need to learn how to respond in a proactive manner.

We often speak with logic instead of feeling; we believe that we are not vulnerable if we are not feeling.  Through logic, we believe we can mask emotions and defend ourselves from threat.  This type of logic-based, emotionally avoidant communication occurs with children and world leaders alike, and at all levels in between.  As such, communication has become a cat and mouse game, sometimes with deadly results.  We often mistake arrogance for pride, and believe in the nobility of martyrs.  But, if we look at these martyrs more closely, we may see that many died out of fear to express their true feelings.  At first glance, it seems that emotions and logic do not mesh well.  Although you may not want to do so, it may be in your best interest to consider the notion that there could be a logical purpose for each emotion.
Many of my clients often feel that fear, shame, sadness, and guilt are worthless feelings.  They feel that if these emotions did not exist, they would be much better off.  Upon further discussion, they often find that they cannot do without these emotions.  Instead, they realize that they chose to deal with the emotions in an undesirable manner throughout their lives, which contributed to many of their problems.

If we think about each emotion without clouding our judgment with emotions, we would see that all our feelings have a purpose.  There are two major viewpoints regarding the development of the human race: creationism and evolution.  Creationism centers on the belief that our “Creator” made us as we are.  Evolutionism asserts that over a long period, we have adapted to our surroundings and became the humans of today.  Perhaps we should think of the development of emotions from these same vantage points.  If we believe in creationism, then we more easily accept the idea that all emotions are ”God given” and serve a purpose.  We could then say that our challenge is to understand each emotion and master their meanings.  If we believe in the concept of evolution and/or do not wish to consider a divine purpose for our emotions, we may consider that our emotions have evolved, and they have enabled us to survive.  In this case, it makes sense to try to understand the roles they play in our life and thereby see how they may contribute to further growth and evolution.

Emotional Mastery Versus Control

You may have observed my use of the word "master" in reference to emotion.  I discriminate between the terms “master” and “control.”   According to Webster’s New World Dictionary, Control is defined as: (verb usage) “4.  To exercise authority over; direct; commands 5.  To hold back; curb; restrain.”  (Noun usage) “1.  The act or fact of controlling; power to direct or regulate; ability to use effectively 2.  The condition of being directed or restrained.”  The most appropriate definition of the term Master is defined as: (adjective usage) “3.  To become an expert in.”  I noticed that several of the definitions for the word “master”  contain the word “control.”  However, the aspect that makes these words different is what we will examine.  The act of becoming an expert indicates several things.  Words like understanding, appreciation and management seem to lend themselves to the notion of mastery.

In contrast, “control” may cause us to think of a time, place or situation, but it doesn’t seem to imply understanding or appreciation.  It is likely that you know of two types of managers in the business-world or in social dealings.  One type of manager directs people through mastery of the task at hand and understands the goal; this manager knows and appreciates the talents of the employees he or she manages.  The other type of manager controls or commands and orders his or her employees to do tasks that they may not be skilled at performing.  Businesses want their employees to be happy and productive and, above all, to work as a team; management through mastery often accomplishes these objectives. 

The need for control comes from the desire to avoid experiencing fear.  There is a simple logic behind having control.  If I can control everything around me, I can control which emotions I will feel, and I may avoid feeling fear or any emotions connected to fear.  To master our emotions, we must do a few things.  We must understand, appreciate and manage the perception and expression of emotions in a manner that is respectful to us and to others. 

If we can accept the idea that each emotion exists for a reason, then we can find the value that each emotion provides to us.  Finding this value may allow us to understand our feelings and express them in more adaptive ways.  The expression of anger does not have to involve yelling or violence, sadness does not have to involve crying, fear does not have to involve hiding or avoiding. 

If we listen to our emotions, and understand what our emotions mean, we can respect them and their intensity often fades.  But if we ignore what our emotions tell us, our feelings build up and may result in a display of negative behavior.  People sometimes resort to shouting and physical violence if they cannot get their point across.  Likewise, our emotions may incite the same types of behaviors in us if we ignore them. 

Is it possible to express true feelings without extreme behavior?  If we understand our feelings, we can express them in a rational manner but still convey what we feel.  It is important to understand that we can express true emotion without shouting or the threat of violence.  We may associate strong emotion with aggressive words or acts, but don’t confuse these behaviors with the actual emotions.  Similarly, simply because a person can state their feelings in a calm manner, it does not mean they are insincere. 

Newborn Feelings

We will look at my theory of emotional development before further discussion of the purposes for our feelings.  Newborn babies feel emotions, and some would agree that babies feel emotions before birth.  In short, we can feel and express emotions at the time of birth.  Babies may not understand their emotions, but they quickly learn that certain behaviors evoke certain responses from others. 

Do infants know the differences between emotions?  They probably develop this knowledge but cannot use words to express these differences.  Babies—and everyone else, for that matter—want to feel loved and accepted.  If someone loves and accepts a baby, they help to assure the baby’s survival.  However, even before we can seek love and acceptance, we must survive.  This implies that, sometimes, a baby’s need for survival can overwhelm the need for acceptance.  The baby has no means of expressing these survival needs, except by crying or yelling.  The people around the baby may not respond to its cries with love and acceptance, but will likely feed or change them.  Depending on the feedback the baby receives, the baby may experience confusion, frustration, and other emotions without understanding them; but it gets what it needs to survive: food.  Let’s assume that, at the moment of birth, a newborn is fully aware of all emotions, but cannot understand or express them.  As the infant continues to experience life, the emotions and experiences contribute to the development of the conscious mind and unconscious or subconscious mind. 

There is no single definition for the unconscious and/or subconscious in literature.  I will use these terms interchangeably in this text, but some authors differentiate between them.  For our discussion, I will use a definition for unconscious from Webster’s New World Dictionary, which is, the sum of all thoughts, memories, impulses, desires, feelings of which the individual is not conscious, but which influence his emotions and behavior.  As the conscious and unconscious develop, a child receives feedback from his environment in many ways, which affects the development of the conscious and unconscious.  They learn the relationship between actions that gain rewards and those that evoke punishment. 

If we want to feel loved and accepted, then we might learn to try to hide or reject parts of our self that do not help us attain these things.  As we mature, we may experience many memories, thoughts, attitudes, emotions and beliefs that our conscious mind cannot store; in this case, we need to place some events and experiences out of our conscious awareness.  Therefore, the subconscious develops out of a need for storage for our experiences and emotions.  We tend to repress events and emotions that we wish to forget, did not receive love or acceptance from, or couldn’t understand.  As I see it, we begin to create an internal hierarchy of emotions and experiences to influence our daily lives, whether we know it or not.  This hierarchy of emotion often become an ingrained part of our subconscious.
In the following illustration, the human awareness is demonstrated as a large sphere of energy.  Each emotional experience, and developing attitude or belief becomes a deposit of energy or aspect of self that we may use or store.  The smaller “spheres of influence” in the unconscious indicate these aspects.  The varying size of each sphere shows the relative power or importance of each sphere as we may judge them. If a person wants to keep an experience or emotion out of the conscious mind, he must expend energy to keep it away.  In doing this, the need for defenses arises. 

Commonly, we use one of two ways to defend emotions and experiences that we want to protect.  We can use emotions to intimidate other people or other aspects of ourselves. That is where the term “sphere of influence” comes into play.  The other means of defense involves a logical approach that might seek to outwit other emotions and individuals, and in a sense, we “talk ourselves out of” unwanted situations or perceptions.

We use defenses to guard emotions and to fend off certain experiences.  We also use these defenses to protect us from external attacks.  Depending on how the subconscious perceives a threat, it may call on defenses to protect aspects of itself from threats to the conscious and unconscious.  Defense tactics will differ from person to person. 

As stated earlier, through life events, a person may learn that emotions are bad, wrong, and/or weak.  Over the years, our conscious mind learns to rely upon logic as a medium for processing experiences.  In this manner, if the conscious mind only needs reason, in theory, life should be easier to figure out and deal with. 
Emotions may become taboo to the conscious mind, because of the numerous times in life when emotions only seemed to make things worse.  Although the conscious mind may seek to block emotions, it never fully succeeds.  This situation is similar to a person standing on the other side of a fence calling you names.  You hear what they say and, although you cannot see the source of these insults, the words still hurt.  You may try to distance yourself from the fence, but you can only go so far, because the fence surrounds you.  In other words, we cannot escape our emotion and memories, but we can make every effort to avoid them.  It is usually only a matter of time before we have to deal with them, in some capacity. 

Let us continue this fence metaphor.  Imagine the individual calling you names felt a strong need to let you know he was there; he may have a difficult time knowing whether you can hear him because he cannot see your reaction.  He may decide to try to tear down the fence.  If that does not work, he may dig a hole under the fence, or set the fence on fire (if he feels desperate enough).  Besides these things, he may try to find more people to make noise to get our attention.  In relating this to a person, considering mind-body connections, it makes sense that people who do not deal with emotions often have health issues such as heart problems, cancer, immune deficiencies, etc.  The relationship between these health factors and repressed emotions is too high to ignore.  We can view this situation as our emotions’ way of telling our logic-based conscious mind that it is time to listen.  It is clear, however, that people fail to listen to these emotions and solely blame their health problems on things like diet, smoking or genetics.  My experience with hypnosis has proved to me time and again that unresolved emotional issues contribute to many physical problems. The biggest issue beyond that is that many people do not want to take the time and expense to work through those issues to thorough resolution.

In order to consider the cause of disease, we need to look at theories about what causes disease.  One important theory is The Diathesis-Stress Model of disease.  This theory asserts that people contract a disease when they are predisposed and experience an amount of stress that activates the disease.  Without these stressors, or if the strategic group of stressors never occur, it is less likely that the person will develop the disease.  The Diathesis-Stress Model is similar to finding the weakest link in the chain.  It does not matter how strong all of the other links of the chain are; if there is a single weak link, the chain will break.  The weakest link goes unnoticed, unless we stress the chain. 

Regarding the impact of emotions on ourselves, whether we realize it or not, we often use our emotions to manipulate perceptions of others and possibly more often of ourselves.  We may use anger to invoke fear, sadness to receive pity, and guilt to gain control.  In this manner, sometimes our unconscious may try to influence our conscious mind through these same tactics. 

If you focus on the expression of these emotions, there is always some experience of a weakly perceived emotion shortly before the conflict.  As such, we see that a protective emotion always appears in the wake of a weaker emotion.  We need to understand the main purpose of these protective emotions; this information may help us to resolve conflicts.  Taken further, there are unique features to each emotion that are important to discuss.

Concept of Emotional Aspects

We often hear many different “voices” or “opinions” within us at any one time.  We should not confuse these “internal voices” with those of schizophrenics or “multiple personalities.” The degree to which these internal voices affect us, as well as the verbal content of the voices, may cover a range of expressions.  At the point where these “voices” interfere with our thoughts or suggest harmful behaviors, they become pathological. 

I have developed a theoretical perspective that we all exist within the range of having a single identity to having many aspects or “spheres of influence.” If we only contained one identity, then we could expect to respond the same way in similar situations, much as a computer program operates.  We do not respond the same way every time; there are many times that we may do something and wonder why.  In such cases, we may feel as if someone else took over and acted in our place.  This model is difficult to prove through research.

Since we all are different and may have several aspects, no two people will respond the same way in a research setting.  It is likely you have seen books on the “inner child” and other similar titles.  In addition to us having inner children, so, too, could there be adolescents and other aspects.  This theory can be used as a model to aid in understanding why we do the things we do, since the logic from a single identity model often defies explanation.

Do most adults have more than one aspect?  If so, why?  Most likely it is because, throughout our lives, we repress emotion and experiences.  Instead, adults often have many different points of view.  The extent an individual represses or isolates their emotions and memories will depend on their experiences, attitudes, and beliefs.  The more someone tries to repress or forget their past and build walls or defenses around these experiences (most often because of the pain and trauma from those experiences) the more that they could create other identities or personalities beyond what I would refer to as an aspect of our personality.  When people who have experienced severe and/or recurrent trauma from early ages create “multiple personalities” or identities, we call this diagnosis Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). 
Perhaps you have seen movies or books like Three Faces of Eve and Sybil.  These provide examples of a person who has different personalities, and the “core personality” is most often not initially aware of the others.  Such a situation is common for people with this condition.  During the periods when an alternate personality assumes control, the person often blacks out and cannot recall what happened.  Through therapy, the client may learn about the existence of these other identities and how they express themselves.  DID creates some interesting psychological issues.  Some clients with DID tend to form some identities that are psychologically adaptive and are very clear-cut from other identities.  Since the personalities are independent, they do not influence each other, but they often have conflicts internally and their behaviors can cause problems for “everyone” when they are out on the surface.